AWESOME GOD

My Lord,, You know that,I amazed at your love..More than that your loyalty towards your people....I don't know ,,what to write here...Lord in the Bible I red many of your adventuress intervention among the multitudes when they are desperately need you...I wonder How do you know their needs.

Always I take proud of My God in my heart..You led the Israelite miraculously out of  Egypt,,,You blessed Joseph on the way,that even the world cannot think of,, You made the shepherd a mighty king .David...Many time you sent your angels to save the Jewish from their enemy troupes..You send your angel to protect the temple of Jerusalem from defiling by Assyrian's and  they literally witnessed how God protected   their people...

It is absolutely true that You are the only One God who hears the prayer...It is true that you are very close them when your people pray.....Lord I am damn sure that you are more ,more closer to the people who really love you from their heart....

The incidents I have just mentioned here are from bible and happened thousands of years back...But I know still you do these kind of marvellous deeds for your loving people..I mean those who truly depending on,Father, Christ and Holy spirit.

Lord lot of my friends who really followed you really blessed by you Miraculously....In front of the world,neighbours,relatives and the society they seemed utter failure.They didn't have a bright career prospect,didn't have foreign job,or family visa,,didn't have strong financial back ground,they were not much handsome or beautiful,,their marriage prolonged because they lacked income,,,no material possession,,,Their future didn't have a clear vision..Whenever others looked on their lives,they told these guys are useless..
But LORD, no one could realize the immeasurable treasure in them..You were with them..The most adorable,precious,beloved and awesome Holy spirit was with them.

Lord one particular incident I would like to mention here..my friend,who was an ardent Christ lover faced all the troubles mentioned above in his life...He was searching for a bride but no one accepted his proposal .Mean while he was working in a catholic missionary movement.One day he was pouring water on the cement plastering of the newly built office.Actually there were labours to do these jobs but as an offering to God he did it. It was a four story building and what happened is that he fallen down from  the top and one of his legs broke.

The days passed he recovered from the injury but the accident gifted him a bit crippling when he walk..His situation became worse and worse.At last his marriage fixed and he thanked God for hearing his prayer and understanding his needs.He adored God for arranging a marriage for him even in his physical disability...On the day of engagement this humble and prayerful person went along with his people to the church for betrothal and for his amusement the girl didn't turn up.He waited for her but the girl and party didn't come...He became a public insult.It was just like losing his dignity publicly,,The all world laughed at him....A person who prays and urge others to turn to God became a public curse...His heart was pierced..He did understand that this world rejected him...The Girl told to her parents that she didn't want to marry a Handicapped,,,He came to know her comments too.....

Crying in his heart,,searching comfort in God he burst to tears and said God that I was worshiping you by pouring water to Gods mission building..And now I became handicapped,,even though this is a slight defect I became a public curse...

He didn't leave his God....

At last again a proposal came from a poor and not much beautiful girl...He got married to that girl....But his loving God had lot of blessing kept for him...
She was a good nurtured girl.....She cleared Ielts after the marriage and God blessed her with a job in the US. Through her he reached in US and he also got a great job .Now he became a very rich person..More over now he is leading the ministry in US.
Now the Mighty God of Israel raised his face and turned him as a blessing in front of every one who laughed at him.

Yes His God didn't forsake him.....

Oh my God I know you are ever ready to help,bless,do miracles and great mighty deeds in the life of your people.

O my God I really love you...Lord help me to be faithful to you always...I don't worry about my future....Because you are my rock ,my shelter and My refuge...
My dear Holy spirit ,,I thank you so much for guiding me and dwelling in me....Hhahahaa  I love you......ur jeril amen.....

Influencing Me

God you know that I am always like the air...My God you know this air influenced by the situations and lose its dignity. As air pass through rotten body it accept the molecules of the rotten body and spread its foul smell all the area.And the same air if pass near by flowers like jasmine it accepts,its sweet smelling fragrance molecules and spread over the area....
  Oh my Lord ,my character also was just like this air.Many of a time my life also be influence by the external situations very adversely and also enjoyably .My mind was disturbed by others opinion about me and their  activities also.I was also taken up by their good words and kind deeds towards me.

This really tells us that I was influenced by others attitude and actions.Most often my emotions went unbalanced out of the influence of others presence.This in turn lead my behaviour in to conflicts.As a result I lost peace of mind and happiness and developed stress every where.At last I lost my own nature.

But Lord I thank you so much ,for your timely help.Holy Spirit helped me to be strong enough and now oh Lord, You Made my forehead so tough against the situations of the life. The Spirit instilled in me the ability in me to be stable in all kind of situations of life.So I am always calm and quite....

Thank you my dear lord for being with me..I really love My God Holy Spirit.....I know he is the one who  teaches me. u r Jeril Antony....
 


 

  

Pilgrimage

  

Ambiguous of path
lots of strife to face
looking for truth
in mind never seize...

chaos,incredulous within myself
feeling lewd a time
for the deed taken
trying to emancipate...

shred of candor
to veer the spirit
looming in darkness
looking for blithe...

ardent to abhor
depravity of the world
merge people to almighty
the great desire of my heart...

gift of tranquility
copious of vision
staunch to our savior
thats my heart's desire ...

Crushed Love

Lord God you know that I love others..But Lord I have come to know that I am wrong.. Actually I didn't love others...Lord You know that,Many a time I felt hurt by others...And I was so depressed and annoyed by their deeds...Then the next moment I forgave them in your name from deep inside of my heart.

My dear Jesus ,you know ,I really thought that I could forgave them as you expected from me...

I raised my heart and silently told my self that I am good...

But Lord ,now I know that I am a rotten egg...My heart is a boasting graveyard...Oh God the dark tombs of my pride and the frightening caves of selfishness was my dwelling place...

Lord you came to my life again by sending the Mighty God Holy spirit in to me..

Oh my loving Spirit I thank you so much for explaining me where I am mistaken....

You told me that I never loved any one.....I was simply demanding every thing from others and using them for my needs.

You showed me what is love.....

Love is nothing but to give every thing or ones self for the goodness of others...

The spirit taught me that,,Jesus died for us,,not simply died,,,,Hwillingly died...

He willingly underwent all the torments which can seen in the human life..He became a mockery for the world..He himself allowed to be called as a curse of God..The God himself...called as curse of God..

He was forsaken by every one...He was beaten by all...He underwent all the mental agony a human being can go through in this world...

Jesus knew that,these people will not love him and accept him as their God....

Still he was ready to become a sacrifice in order to save them.....He didn't expect any thing from the human being..Their love,, consideration ,care and companionship...

He just simply gave his life,comfort,time,position,dignity and his time with God the father......In order to obey the Father and gave him glory.......

He could forgive them...He had the right to utter that word.....Why.......Because he did not expect any thing from others and did not receive any thing from them...But they killed Him....So he was selfless...There is nothing in demand......In that business Jesus actually didn't have anything to demand ..He knew he was loving them.....So he prayed and begged to the father to forgive them...But he didn't have anything in his mind,,,,Thats why he said that to father...Father might not forgive them...But Jesus loved them sincerely ,so he didn't expect any thing from others, as a good treatment or painful treatment,,,even he didn't bother about if they think of him or not......

His only consideration was just to pour out all his love to them that's all,,,,,,,,,,

So he didn't feel hurt in his heart....So for Him there was no need of forgiving them......

My Jesus,, you know ,,I say I am your follower and be proud of that......But really I am not..I am only a traitor....

What I did was I was simply demanding everything from others..Their care,protection ,good words and deeds,,their appreciation and reputation every thing...I demanded,others actions and responses should come on the way I designed.If that not,then I did get annoyed and angry.......

Then blindly from my artificial spirituality I forgave them in Your name.......

I am a fool of my own thoughts.....I am the white painted tomb you mentioned in the Bible...

Now I think of getting married...I wanted get a girl who can love me sincerely and understand me....A girl who is much compatible with me......

I am wrong.......Lord Love is not receiving but giving..... So I should not search a girl who can love me sincerely and understand me......Rather i should get married only to love my girl ...not to be loved by her.....only to understand her ,not to understood by her......

Lord help me ,,please help me to love....I cant really....................I am a failure..............But my Loving Spirit teaches me to love others..........Oh Christ my Rock,,,hahahaha thank you for being for me.......

ur jeril.........amen..................

MYSTICAL HEAVENLY FLOWER

Deep inside of my being , I have just found that ,I am a serene growing heart.A heart which is far away from the troubling life situations of the world.

I see my humble heart is shedding light to the surrounding darkness.

My heart sings a melodious song of compassion. Suddenly I found a lonely, tiny plant of calmness growing in side of my heart.....and a heavenly bud of flower on it. I asked her why she was growing in me.The plant replied that all other gardeners didn't plant her in their garden because they need very beautiful,sweet fragrant ,attractive and eye catching flowers in order to sell them in the market.The entire world only prefers such talented flowers.Since she was very small they didn't allow her to grow in their garden....

The plant looked at my eyes with volume of fear...With the trembling voice she told me that,this is her final hope,,,,She afraid that she cannot blossom her bud,,,,She felt that she might lose her life with out expressing her beauty to the world.....

I keenly looked at her eyes and smiled at her,,,suddenly I recognized she is filled with the energy of happiness. I gently touched on her leaf and suddenly filled with power of life...

The tiny simple plant smiled at me and swing all her leaf thankfully. As I bent down to her I saw the life giving water flowed from my heart and ,watered the place where she grew.

As I looked back to her I found that,the tiny bud was blossoming ...
I amazed at her, what a beautiful flower...My heart again filled with divine solace...

Few hearts were walking near by the plant and they couldn't enjoy the amazing beauty of the flower ...No bees could realize the sweetness of its honey...Even they didn't realize that,the divine flower is full of heavenly honey..

I looked at her and I wondered about the divine fragrance comes out of her...The beauty of her flower resembles my own heart...She appeared like the ever lasting rose in the Garden of Son of God.....

Suddenly a beam of light falls on her, followed by a thick voice...from above She is my beloved daughter .The mystical heavenly flower...Suddenly I close my eyes and kneel down in front of her and kissed her stem..Again I opened my eyes and looked at her stem,, I saw there was a wound through which the blood of God is flowing to my heart....

The white dove from above flew to me and explained that,to fulfill my sacrifice on the alter of my heart,to the son of God, God himself planted the heavenly flower in my heart .......I thank my God from my heart with amazing ,tiny ,,hidden and meak sweet fragrant heavenly flower......

Then I saw she bent to wards me and asked to take her flower and honey in order to fulfill my offering to the lord with an eternal happiness.....I saw the life of God in the plant and the face of God in the flower....Then I realize that the tiny flower has integrated in to the life of my heart.....

Now my heart is filled with divine fragrance flows from the heavenly flower.....It sings a song of gratitude to the flower and to the heavenly father........................thankyou god.....jeril........