AN OUT CRY

Oh again facing the nsame situation that no internet connection. I am really tied up with this situation. My blog is handicapped of new ideas and thoughts.But one thing is that I still observe the life and realy learning the lessons of life. Dyas are passing and time is flying but I feel I am not changing but my skin is drying, charm is fading still I am not changing.I dont know what i am writing now here. May be its my out cry to pour out the things which are in my herats. Ok its the time to leave. my LORD the unchanging is with me , so i AM SO HAPPY.. WHAT TO SAY MORE EVEN THE AMONG MY DISTRESSES.

FAITH -THE POWER SOURCE-

Faith is the most powerful force ever known.Faith is the prime motivator of man.When I say faith I mean faith in God,faith in your self,faith in others and faith in the state...We keep faith in tangible things like, our motor vehicles,our communicating devices,news papers,electricity,and drivers,teachers and the list is endless.We have faith in our motor vehicles that ,it will reach us to our destined place.We use the tangible things with this kind of faith that they will defenitely full fill our needs.IN the case of a driver we do keep faith in him that he will drive the vehicle and reach us our destined place very safely.We have trust in the teachers that they will enlighten us with real wisdom and knowledge which enable us to become a valuable social element and global element ,for the smooth process of social life.
Besides these tangible things we should keep faith in the important elements of life like God,your self,other people and country etc...Faith in God will generate great strength to full fill the purpose of ones life.Faith in others will liberate a strong character,Faith in your self will create a heap of hope in one self and that enables ones to concern the entire world.
Faith is the fountain of strength.It heals the wounds of disappointment.When medicine fails faith restore the health .Faith terminates fear.Yes fear is one of the strongest forces known but faith is stronger than fera.So faith always over come fear.
Loyalty,honesty,sinceritytrust,confidence,and unquestioning belief all mean faith.Faith urges us to have an aim in the life,that life can be meaningful.Faith, the greatest weapon against worry,greed ,jealousy,envy,hatred,revenge, doubt,and fera.
Faith in God is the most power full aspect of faith.I have this source of strength by the contact with God.We can have the contact with God by prayer.I reach God in prayer wherever I am,regardless of what I am doing,in th shower,travelling,in the office,with friends,at shopping etc..Yes God generate much strengh in our selves that will bring out the real sleeping talents in us.Which can give us victory in our life.So have faith in every thing and have a successful life on this earth.
Lord I thank you for this thoughts.You helped me to have faith in my thoughts. Lord always help me to have faith in you. your jeril amen......

HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL MARY

As we dedicate this month to Mary I thought about her place in the life of Jesus. I could find some meaning full thought on her in my mind which are

1. I know God dwell only in very holy place .Here Jesus is the visible form of the unvisible God and this God around 10 months lived in the womb of Mary.Since God dwell only in very Holy place so Mother Mary also a very holy dwelling place for God.She is the throne of God.So who can negate the importance of Mary in the life of Jesus.Later Jesus lived with this Holy throne of God for 33 years.This clearly tells that Mother Mary is very holy and very important person in the life of Jeus and so she is very much important in the faith of chirstians.

2.Mother mary is the first follower of christ.She allways stood for christ eventhough all the world was against Jesus she did not abandon Him. Again she followed Him up to calvary.Only she consoled Jesus in His distruss.Even she consoled God.
Look , how great she is? This is really the greatness of mother mary.

3. Jesus started His mission in the presence of Mary at the wedding feast of Canna.And in the case of the penecosta Mary was present there.Here we can see that God really start His mission in the presence of Mother Mary.God Himself want her presence all ways ,so how some mere men can deny Her greatness. That no one can.

4.At the calvary Jesus told to John that Here is your Mother.Whose mother is she? yes she is the mother only of those who believe in Jesus.If some one say that I do beleive in Jesus and dont accept Mary as His mother ,I say that person is partly blind.Yes I know Mary will interceed for them and I hope their eyes may open to see the importance of Mother Mary in a christian life


Mamma Mary be with me all ways. Make me a true follower of christ. HAIL HAIL HAIL MARY.....WITH LOVE YOUR son jeril.. amen

THANK YOU MY OWN JESUS

lORD I THANK U FOR THIS DAY.LORD YOU BLESSED ME WITH LOTS OF GOOD THING THIS DAY.ANY WAY I THANK U FOR HELPING ME TO UP DATE THIS BLOG.Lord to day I am so happy and so calm.YOU HELPED ME THIS DAY TO BE IN SO SERENE MOOD .I THANK YOU MY LORD AND GOD .MY JEUS ..I LOVE YOU DEAR ,,,DEAR I LOVE YOU...YOU ARE MY LOVE ......PLEASE BE WITH ME ALL WAYS.... KABHI ALVIDHA NA KAHENA, MERA PYARA JESUS...... APUN SIRF AAP KA HE..
MERA ZINDAGI BHI AAPAKA HE ,,,,,,,,,,,, sirf thera ,sirf there liye .... aaap ka jeril ,bye for now

DIL KI RANG

mera zindagi,
iska kya rang hem?
rang dene ko koyi,
lal phool nahim hem...

le kin neela aasman
mera dil ka drwaja hem,
esmem bahuth chidiya
pyar ki phool le ke aate hemn......

mera dil khoob soorat phool
ki bagh hem, ein mem,se,.....
meme ne, ek ko churaliyega,,
mera zindagi ka naya rang!!!!

chotti,chotti ,zindagi mem bhi, bade bade bathem hothe rahathe hemn,,,,
apun kisi ko tension nahim detha hem,ki si se nahim lethabhi nahim...
muskurao,yeh zindagi ko de khe muskurao.,,,,,,,,
hum kisise kam nahim, jesu massiha he hamare sath.............

I NEED AN OPEN HEART

In the gospel of John chapter 6 we read about the multplication of five loaves of bread and two fish.There I noticed a sentence that says people were gathered around Jesus because He was healing the people and doing miracles.In this particular occassion ,Jesus, even before any kind of teaching ,by seeing the crowd wanted to give food for them.Here asking qustions about, how to feed the people, to his disciples He was testing their faith in Him.
Any way Jesus multiplied the bread loaves to many thousand and fed them. This made the people to say that Jesus is the real Messiah the one for whom the world is waiting to come and save it.Mean while the disciples went back to the other side of the shore and Jesus went up to the hill for prayer.While the disciples were sailing to the other side of the shore ,the sea got disturbed and heavy wind was blowing on the sea.Then suddenly they saw Jesus was walking on the sea and coming to them.He said'' DONT BE AFRAID''. They wanted him to be in the boat.At that moment the boat reached in the desired shore.
Yes here in that dangerous situation they could see Jesus there,so they desired Him to be with them. They could see that Jesus was above the universal rules.
All these people and the disciples at last negated Jesus when He was in trouble.Why because no one could undersatnd Him,no one could realise the real purpose of Jesus .The purpose is that to redeem the world, and give eternal life those who believe in Him.Now I feel most of the time ,I too am like these people.When in the problems of life I all ways blessed by the God but later I often dont stand with God rather I seek my plans and desires.I walk away from the real plan of God and His wishes.There I negate Jesus and becoming like the mere crowd .
yes God I ask u to bless me to have an opene eye so that I can see you in my life all ways., Lord I beg you to give me open heart so that I can understand you and become your reall follower .thank you..... u ..r jereil ... amen

FADING TIME

small are not mere one,
grate are not dear one,
my life is so humble one,
I will sit and watch it for every one.........

seasons of love,
seasons of caress,and
seasons of sorrow are
reasons of life........

paining heart pleads ,solace,
praying heart sows solace,
the calm mind reap solace,,,
calm ,quite soul is my palace.........

Life like vanishing cloud,
The fading youth,
Changing thought'
Make rock for God..............

THE CONFUSING GOD

Today as I read the chapter of luke-1 ,my eyes were hooked on the itroducing scene of Mother mary .There Gabriel'' the angel wished Mary ,by hearing this words of God ,Mary became so frustrated and she was thinking on the meaning of this word in her life.She was confused and disturbed.Again Gabriel fortolded what was going to happen with mary in the near by future, that was her pregenency of Jesus and was about Jesus mission.Then Mary asked how it would happen in her life?She didnt know her man.Here she asked qustion to God.
I think some times we too are like this ,when we hear the word of God in our lives.We may wonder about some words of God which comes to our lives, it may happen when we going through the Bible,or when we hear the sharing of word of God,or from some persons,what ever may be,that really haunt us .As an example, some years back I was so disturbed with Luke 12-15.That made me to think on my life.At first I did not understand the meaning of this message.This word of God really changed my views about life and its meaning, and this word led me to another aspect of life ,the real life,that is the life with God or for God.But at first I was so confused and was not ready to accept that call,and later as time passed I changed .
Like this some times the word of God may give disturbance to us ,and that is not at all a mere disturbance rather its Gods intervention in our lives
When I understood the meaning of that call I asked God, that" how can I live like this?' "Am I able to live as you wish in this modern world?'' I didnt get any answer but later I came to know that with out my knwledge my mind was changing and I my self found I was so strong enough to follow that call.Here Mary also asked God how every thing happens?Then Gabriel gave the answer that'' the power of God will come over you.''
This is the answer for all our qeustions.Yes God will pour out his spirit over us and He will make use of us .We no need to think on,how ,when ,what and so on.......
In the next when we filled with the power of God we defenitely consume Jesus in our womb of faith.When we concieve Jesus in us , others will defenitely feel, the presence of Gods spirit whern we are near to them, as it happened to Elizabeth when she met Mother Mary.
So wellcome all the disturbance over the word of God and be blessed and we can give birth to Jesus in all sphere of this life.
Lord I thank u for this thought, after some days you helped me to write.I know my God you are so good and so loyal to me.I am lacking words to express my gratitude to you. I know, no language is sufficint for glorify you my God and amy saviour.l thank you ,lord Jesus u r jeril ...amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE HUMAN GOD

This day I just thought about why God took the form of man and came to this world?.God could have to receive other form and save this world.For God every thing is possible but God just chose a human body to manifest in this world. I feel again that if God appeared in the form of some mighty creatures ,or lightening ot thunder or any other unusual form ,men do not go to God. We know human being is having fear of super natural powers, and so defenitely the unusual form of God will make cause fear in the heart of men.So by opting the form of man God was conveying the message ,that he is not the matter of fear rather the matter of understanding and love.I think only one man can understand other,like only one man can console other man.So the God in the form of pure man is, very much approachable to the human being with out any fear, because the God is one among them,very much understanding,very much loving.
Here God proclaim that He is ready to console in our miseries,He really understands us.I think normally one man does not fear to approach another man.Again here God inviting the entire human being to him, by accepting the body of man to manifest in this world.I feel that God want to express that He is one among us ,who knows all our life situations and our difficultese.He says that He is the real God who really aware of the life of every man and woman, in all the aspect of the life in this world.So we can go to Him and take refuge in Him.Thnk u Lord for understanding me and loving me.Lord help me to take refuge in you all ways..... u r jeril........amen............

MY OWN GOD

I am back again to my blog. I was in the college at Trichy for my admission and higher studies.Around 10, day's back I left the home and went to the college.I was so excited of my studies and campus life.I was on the verge of my new life.I was so thrilled because God was fullfilling his promises to me .Eight years back in 2000 He promised me about my admission in a college. He fortold me that ,'' I would study again and He will give me admission''.
I reached in the college with all amy dreams and expectations and I was so happy.When I reached there the college officials told me to wait for few days because there were no students joined for the course and they were expecting some more students.
After some days some of the teachers and students told me that ,my cindition wasso crytical and better was to find admission in another college.They again reminded me that, the fees which I paid there might not refund by the college .Here I was facing the big test of God in my life.I told every one that ,My God had a particular plan for me and He would not leave me alone.Eventhough I held on to Christ ,my intellectual thought was start to create doubt in my mind but the power of faith took controle of my intellectual thought and I could smile at my admission problem.I just read the Bible and I got the message Joshua 1-5.the content of that verses is that,He will be with me as He was with Moses.Any way I met the principal of the college and explained to him my situations and He assured the refund of the fees which I paid and an admission in another college.In the history of that college no one got back the paid fees but, I.Then I enquired in another college and I got dmission there and my class mates are priests ,foreign students,and the department is so good,the fees is very nominal, there I CANlearn new languages and can develope my language.Becides that there is a good church ,near to my place and I can go for work to earn while study.a very good place i got to study and live.thank u lord.
I never knew about this college and I was about to join in anothercollege,the previous college officials suggested but on the day of joining,some ofthe students of my previous college came to me and suggested this college and I took it as the word of God .So I have chosen that college besisdes that the name of collge is the CHRIST THE KING.
Last week I wrote about the problems of the man who trusts in the God .I wrote that a God fearing man never have problems because for him all that kinds of moments are the chances to see the great deeds of God in his life and that enable him to deepen his faith in God.Now I realised that what I write here God wants me to practise.Last few days he made me to practise it.and I know God only gave me admission in that college.Lord GOD I thank you for every thing and full filling your promises.Lord i love you. I love you.ur jeril amen.

THE CHANGING GOD

I heared people say that God never change .He is as still as a rock,so strong as iron,and not movable as a mountain and God is same today,tomorrow and yesterday. God never cahnges.Yes our Lord is very strong and powerful.I just thought about our God and I just had some thoughts which I would like to sow here.
I say that God is changing.i say that my God changes.Yes I have a God who changes his heart before his loving one's pleads.So I proclaim that my God is not stable in his descisions ,and he may change when pressure comes on him.
In ISAIAH 38-we read,the God asked to Isaiah, to tell the king Hezekiah ,to get ready for his death.God said that the king would die.When Hezekiah heared this he turned his face to the wall and prayed to GOD and beagn to cry bitterly.Then the Lord commnaded the prophet to go back to the king and say to him,'' I the LORD ,have heard your prayer and seen your tears so I will let you live 15 years longer.
In Genesis chapter -18-we see that Abrahm pleads for Sodom ,there he bargaining to God,for the reduction of required number of good people in order to save from the Gods destruction.Abraham could reduce the number of good people required from 50 to 10 to save the city and here God really agreed Abraham's plan and HE changed HIS plan for Sodom , but in contrast God could not find at least ten innocent people in that city,in order to avoid the inevitable destruction which planned for that city.

Again in Mark-7- we read about the faith of a gentile woman,she begged JESUS to cast out the evil spirit from his daughter, but JESUS replied that it was not right to to take the children's food and throw it to the dogs''.The woman again gave the apt answer for Lord's opinion like ,even the dogs under the table eat the children's left overs.I feel that Jesus really crashed in front of her deep faith in Him. I know there are lots of explanation for this incident, but here I say what I feel on this time.Here JESUS changed HIS first descision and granted her what she desired.
Yes it is damn sure that my God is a changing God.As the warmth of sun melt the ice, the warmth of my tears will melt the heart of God,then he will change it for me.As the burning fire tender the hard iron, the fire of prayer will alter his stable plan and change it for me.As the destroying storms blocked by the big and high mountain,the storm of His anger to wards me can stop by the mountain faith in Him. So I believe that ,our tears ,our prayer,and our faith in GOD can cahange our God.Yes my God is a changing God and HE has a tender heart.Yes Lord here I am ,be with me and allways allow me to change you.thank u Lord u r jeril. amen.

THE LIVING TABERNACLE OF GOD

Yes we called as the living tabernacle or the living temple of God.So we should be holy and pure since we are a temple.
I had some thought in my mind that, if a person is a temple ,then what significant characteristics can find in him from others.
We know a temple is a place where its doors are all ways open for any one, that all can depend on it or can enter in it.Here the living temple of God should be open to all ,at any time ,irrespective of their personal qualities ,behaviour ,attitudes and habits and all can take refuge in him in their time of miseries and ambiguous life situations.He should open the doors of his heart and the windows of understanding for welcome others.

Again in the church or in the temple we feel the real presence of the Mighty God.This gives us new strength,multiplies the zeal to live, and enabling us to stand in the valley of troubles.So a person of God should be a man of encouragement and,a man of support.Who ever comes him will feel the presence of God in him.He should radiate the rays of encouragement and light of hope flows from the God to the people.So the living tabernacle of God should be a life building man,should be constructive ,not a destructive man.

Then in temple ,people pour out their heart to the Lord, because they know that ,theLord is listening them.So it is a place of listening.They feel relieved after sharing everything to God and later they can be happy and peacefull in their lives.If a man is a living temple of God ,he should be a good listener and besides he should keep secrets as secrets all ways, because we share every thing to God ,that we know ,God do not reveal any thing to any one.Yes we can trust him.So living tabernacle of God should be a good listener and trust worthy.

A temple is a place for worship,a place for prayer, a place for thanks giving and a place for repentance.Being the living temple of God, every one should be a man of prayer.Worship the lord with the entire heart with the maximum strength and
offer the Lord millions of bouquets of thanks giving.The living tabernacle of God should wash ,the alter of his heart with the tears which fall down from the ,clear eyes of true repentance.
The temple is a place ,where daily offering and sacrifices perform for the Good of people and, people recieves graces and blessing through the sacrifices.So a living temple of God should allow to take place sacrifices in his daily life as daily offerings of God for the good of others.This clearly tells us that the man of God should not grind his teeth, when he faces miseries of life, rather accept all the miseries as the offerings for God.
Again in the temple we see the exposed Jesus ,the real living God.Wecan see him there in the form of holy ghost and
we can experince his warmth of love and so a man of God should expose Jesus in all his daily activites and should spread and radiate the warmth of Jesus's love to others.His deeds should communicate that he is a true christian and he should live only to give glory to God the father.
Dear mamma mary. I dont know how can I practise what I have just written here.Please teach me to become a true living tabernacle of God.Hold my hand as u held the hand of Jesus.amen ur jeril

THE CHAMPION OF THE LIFE

I just thought about to have a successful life and I found the basic principle of successful life, that is none other than, the complete dedication of one's life to God.In Genesis chapter 39-2-says that ''the Lord was with Joseph and made him successful'' and in 21 we can read that ''the Lord was with Joseph and blessed him,again in the 23rd sentence we read that ''the Lord was with Joseph and made him succeed in everything he did''.It is clear that God can only stay with a person who truly loves HIM ,than the person himself.God will bless a person who blindly trust HIM and offers Him everything including his life.
Joseph was a person ,who trusted and loved the God ,with all his might.He never stood against God ,inspite of all his hardship which he faced in his life.But one question arised in my mind that'' how could Joseph stood with God in all his life?''
I could see some reason for his endurence in God.One of my friends all ways says that'' every one has reasons '' so Joseph also might have reason to endure in the love of God.Being the son of Jacob ,Joseph defenitely got enough knowledge on God and His mighty power and fatherly love and from child hood onwards he developed a devotion to the the mighty God.When he was thrown to the well by his brothers he might have thought that he would die and he might pray to God to save his life ,by the time one group of merchants reached there and Joseph was sold to them.I think there Joseph realised the power of prayer, or Gods ways of act,that gave him a great boost to hold on the prayer and in God.Again when he resolded to the potiphar ,Joseph saw how God made his life so easy,there he was not at all a slave but a supervisor and this made him convince that God is with him ,the real mighty God of Israel.He was aware that the God is alive and no one can hide from Him.So Joseph might share his desires of heart with God and might practise a life of prayer by this he could filled more in holy spirit and guided by God and he became much stronger spiritually.That is why he could resist the tempting moment with potiphers wife.As an young man I know it is all most impossible to get away from that kind of occassins.Here a woman forcing a man to have sex with her.There we read in the Bible that she was asking Joseph for sex for long time and that day there was no servants in that house .I feel that she knowingly made all other servants to be absent so that she would get Joseph alone to practise her plan.
Any way the strong Joseph stood with God. WOW,OH GREATstrength Joseph had.I am envy to Joseph.How can I become like this.
Again in the prison ,from a son to a slave ,then a slave to a prisoner,josephs life was blessed by GOD.How this world can say that his life is a blessing or God is with him .No one could say that but Joseph could ,because he was a man of prayer ,that gave him insights which helped him to understand the plan and ways of God in his day to day life.As we know a reall prayerful man is filled with Holy spirit and he should have the gifts and fruits of spirit,so he can see Gods hands every where .When he has a problem he doesnt bother the problem because he has no problem at all.There are no word problem in his dictionary.But for others every thing is a problem, but for a person of God every problem is a chance to see wonderful ways of God to over come it, thus it is an occassion for gloryfying the God.Many times I heard people say that they like adventures life or adventure .For me I feel that the most adventure thing is to believe God blindly and do not anxious about the next moment of life.We all are one way or other having thoughts of tomorrow and we actually do not think of present.But a person of GOD never anxious about his future, in contrast he will be so sure about his future.So he will be so peaceful and happy all ways . Whatever may be the life situations he will enjoy the life and its beauty.
In the prison Joseph enjoyed his life and he was a blessing for other prisoners.Being a person of God he was a man of love,understanding,compassion and support besides these he was a good listener.So for the long 11or 12 years the prisoners blessed by the God through Joseph.He could radiate the light of God in darken life of the prisoners .In that hard life Joseph saw the training of God .Around 10 years Joseph spent in the jail and he was administrating the prison activities.He learned that how to deal with diffrent persons,the authorities, and what to do in the emergency occassions.I think this jail term made Joseph later a great ruler .11 years of his suffering really became a blessing for egypth and his people.
Yes Jesus died for us, and Joseph suffered for them.
A person who lost his 12 yrs in the prison at his teen age dont get a chance to succeed in his life because his education ,carrier and social status is formes in that time.For the world it is impossible to make him a successful person but GOD can.HE did it through Joseph at the ancient time and through many men who took great faith in God at the presnt time.
At last he became the Governor of the Egypth.The most susccessful person in the history of Israel.He didnt have schooling,He was not a master in martial arts,he didnt have a masters degree ,he was not a writer and he only had the blind love and trust in OUR LORD and GOD. That made him the successful one.
MY THEORY IS ''THE SUCCESS OF LIFE IS THE TRUE DEVOTION TO THE GOD OUR LORD''. Thank u lord.
Lord make me like Joseph and give me the real devotion to you so that I can have a successful life on the earth. u r jeril amen
JEUS I LOVE YOU.

THE SLEEPING CHILD

SAT TOGETHER IN THE PRAYER
AND I SHARED THE MELODIES
AND AGONIES OF MY LIFE

THEN HE KEPT HIS RIGHT
ARM ON MY SHOULDER
AND GAVE ME A BRIGHT SMILE

HE LOOKED ON MY EYES, WITH
A MEEK VOICE ,HE UTTERED ME
''MY CHILD,MY CHILD YOU ARE MINE''

SOON I FELT ,A SWEET SMELLING
BREEZE SURROUNDING ME WITH THE
HEAVELY MUSIC SYMPHONY,

THEN I SAW ,I BECAME A CHILD
SLEEPING IN HIS BOSOM WITH
CALM,QUITE AND LIGHT HEART

NOW I WOKE UP FROM THE SLEEP
AND I SAID TO HIM ,''YOU ARE MY
LIFE ,LIGHT ,WAY AND TRUTH.

AN OBEYING CHILD

I think I am blind and I am so dark in my heart and so adament in understanding others.Why I feel like this is that I never obeyed my Jesus completely.When I check all the personal messge that I got from HIM ,I understood that 95% of his demands I took lightly and didnt give importance .How ever I appreciate and waits for his promises to ful fills, but not abut the things HE wants me to do.
To day as I sat in adoration JESUS reminded me ,that besides a loving heart he needs an obeying heart from me.Yes I do love my God but I am lacking in obeying him in all the aspects.I turned all his demands in to my own way or my own desires.As an example HE told me that ''dont go to bed at late time rather go early.''BUt when I have some work and if when I am on line at night I dont care His message for me and I plan in my way.Here I am simply consider God is subordinate to me and also I think I can deal with GOD. My God I never give you respect as God.I did not think about your Mighty power and I forgot that you are God. I considered you only like one of servants or my colleague.
Today I decided that I WILL OBEY YOU completely,sl ord help me to obey you with out taking account on my plan and desires of life.please lord change me and bless me . your jeril amen

AN UNDERSATNDING DAY

Today I thank you lord for all your blessing.You showed me the greatness of understanding others and accepting others as they are and accept my self as I am .Lord some times I am failure,and some times I am so strong .But you are so strong all ways .Thank you for being with me. Thank you for guiding this day.I ask you pardon for all that i have done against you, oh Lord.
I WALK ,I FALL, I WALK AGAIN
KEEPING HAND IN YOUR HANDS
GAZING ,TURNING AND GAZING AT
YOUR WORLD ,MY WORLD AND YOUR'S AGAIN

I BREATH AND BLEW THE BREEZE OF THE EARTH
BUT CLOAKED BY THE BREATH OF YUR HEART
SO I LIVE IN THIS LIFE AS MUCH
I FAIL AND FALL AND STUMBLE.

U R JERIL AMEN

LIFE IN LIGHT

CAN ANY ONE BE LIKE YOU
CAN ANY ONE CHANGE YOUR WILL
LIGHT AND WAYS SPREADS FROM YOU
STREAMS OF LIFE STARTS FROM YOU

STILL I TRAMBLE ON MY WAY THAT
GARNISHED WITH BONES AND THORNS
THE DARK AND FREEZE CAVES OF OF MY HEART
YET STRUGGLE TO BREATH ,STREAMS OF LIFE

NOW I FEELTHE WARMTH OF YOUR BREATH
THE BREATH OF LIFE AND THE LIGHT
NOW I SEE MY WAY WITH YOUR DIVINE LIGHT
THERE I JOURNEY SMOOTHLY TO YOUR NATION

THE DUSTY FADING DREAMS DIMINISHED
BUT THE BETTER AND BRIGHTER DESTINY REACHED
THERE I PROCLAIM THE NAME OF MY LIFE
YES JESUS YOU ARE MY LIFE

THANK YOU

Lord today you helped me to show you loyalty.I succeeded in the temptation.When I was in the field of my inner war you strengthened me to chose your side. You reminded me the lives of our great saints.That gave me encouragement and I could stand in your side.When I chose your side to stand ,then you cloaked me with your mighty hands and saved me from the net of evil.
thank u.lord.for your protection,THANK YOU very much. u r jeril amen

AN INNER CRY

Jesus you are a wonderful healer.Lord last day I was with my aunt in the hospital and she was bitten by a poisonous snake.The poison spread in the blood ,that altered her tottal appearence.The active became the faint,the talkative became the silent,the fair became the bluish and besides that the alive can become the dead .Such kind of external elements like snake venom made transformed her to an another person.To bring her back to the previous or normal stage she has hospitalised.She has given antivenom and brought her back to the normal stage.
Jesus I know when I was bitten by the sin I really transformed to an another man. The tranquilant became restless,the quite one became so harsh,the understanding mind became so adament,the loyal mind became so deceitful mind,the loving heart became the hatred one.Lord I know the pain of flying away from you.When ever I was wrong I had been a deep wound in my inner heart,and the puss of unloyalty towards you was flowing from that wound, besides that the malodur of my sins did not allow my self to smell the fragrance of your holiness.Lord I was in the bondage of my emotions ,I was not rational in thinking more over that I was filled with bitter feelings and my sexuality blew off the light of my life.
Jesus you were very much kind to me and you were so compassionate towards me.Lord you washed me with your precious blood and heal the wound of my inner heart.You touched me with your pierced hands and wiped away the puss of my unloyalty with your tender fingers.Again you poured on me the sweet smelling holy spirit in order to make me free from the malodour of my sins.Jesus I know I canot follow you but only YOUR GRACE makes me to follow you,Even though now I am with you ,Lord I dont know whether tomorrow I will be with you or not.Jesus if you withdraw your hands from me ,I know the moment I will fall in the trap of the sin.Lord I am so helpless,so weak and so unloyal.But Lord I know one thing that even if I fall you never abandon me and I can come back you again because you are not my self ,because you are not man but you are the living God.Thank you lor for helping me .thank you lord for supporting me. LORD I LOVE YOU. U R JERIL .AMEN

CHANNELS OF LOVE

Today I am so happy because I received a phone call from one of my nun friends she lives in a very far place and she reminded me ,that today is my feast day .Feast of st .James.Actaully I never expected her call and I didnt know that today is my feast day.When I recieved her call I felt that Iam important for her life and some one is there to care me and my heart really filled with love and joy.I became so sweet as a choclate and so play full as a boy.
Then I spent my time in the kitchen to help my mother.I have been doing cooking and I really enjoy it.Since I experienced the warmth of caring from sr.sipsa, I was transformed in to more lovable. I was listening my mother and all the words, which I utter to her was so tender ones and so sweet.So she too became so happy and experienced a cord of love bcause of me.I did not do anything special and speak but I realised that I was transmitting the warmth of love and happiness which I filled with by the phone call.
This made me to think, that even a simple gusture of love of a person can produce energy, that is very higher than nuclear energy in other person and he defenitely transmit it in to others .This enormous amount of energy enable a person to do great things in the life ,and that will defenitely useful for the entire world.When we radiate the rays of love by simple gustures to our surroundings, there we really see the rise of the kingdom of God.Since God is love and all the tender feeling is from God, so the rays of love also from God and when we radiate the love, actually we radiate God and we are becoming the channel of God.
Yes Lord ,I never gave importance to express love,care and tender feelings to others and I did not radiate you.My eyes were hooked on only great deeds but never looked on simple and meaning full behaviour like giving appreciation,thanking others,expressing the hidden love ,showing care and concern and simply giving a smile and my own presence.Lord with an appreciation I can live two months. Lord if this world is lacking in the expression of tender feelings I am the reason because I am neglecting to spread your love by not expressing the gustures of love.
Jesus MAKE ME A HUMAN BEING RATHER THAN A MERE MAN. Give me a heart which is ready to radiate your love by freely expressing tender feelings towards others.Lord give me a heart of a child .Teach me to cry and,laugh.Teach me to really love others.LORD I LOVE YOU.I thank you.u r jeril amen

THE BROKEN POT

Last day was a day of consolation for me because I was disturbed with some kinds of feelings that reminded me spenting of time in internet and being with others most of the day would cause me to lose the touch with God and thus result in spiritual weakness.I went away from my own kingdom of contemplation and lonliness which all ways makes me a strong hearted man.I said to Jesus that I am losing the touch with him.The time I spend in prayer got reduced since I have to spent time for my lots of friends and their lives issues .At last I sat with Jesus in prayer and he reminded me one story.The story of the broken pot.
The story goes like this,once there was a poor farmer lived in his small hut.All the day he worked in the near by farm land and every evening he carried water from the near by stream for his personal use.He used two pots which he tied on the two ends of a stick and kept on his shoulder while he walk.In two of those pots one had a hole .By seeing this the good pot told to the broken one that you are a useless pot and our master is working hard to bring water to home but you are simply wasting his time and energy by losing water through the hole.The broken pot became so sad when it heard the accusations of good pot and he thought that '' Yes I am useless ,what the good one said is right, so I will tell to master to use another good pot to use instead of me.Then the next day master came to carry the pot to fetch the water ,the broken one said to the master to leave him the from the job.He said to master that he was a useless and not reaching up to his expectations when he failed to carry the amount of water as the good one carried.But in contrast to his grievence the master said to him that ,he knew that he is a broken pot and water is flowing out thorugh the hole.Again he asked the broken pot to look the sides of the road ,ther he saw beautiful flowers were blossomed and the road sides seemed like a garden.The master again said to the broken pot that even though you are a broken pot you are not a waste pot and because of you now I can enjoy my time in the home and the road.The water which flowed from you gave birth to this kind of heavenly flowers.Now every one who passed through the road praising me for these flowers and because of your weaknesses I am glorified.So dont be worried about your failers and weaknesses and I know everything rather you concentrate on your work and understand that your as worthy as others .
Jesus my master I know I am like the broken pot .I too worried about my failers and weaknesses but Lord you have told me that you understand me and I can see your strength in my weeknesses.Even though I am a broken pot,you all ways inspires me to stick on my jobs and mission.Jesus told me that being with people and others is the christ life .Spenting time for others is heavenly duty, so pray after your duty.Thankyou Lord for everything.Thank you my JESUS, .Bless me lord and be with me .Lord teach me to serave others in all possible ways so that I can understand you more. Jesus bless me and be with me .u r jeril .amen

MAKE ME A PRODIGAL

I have been thinking on the life of the prodigal son but my eyes hooked on the character of the elder son the loving father.Yes the prodigal one came back to father and united with him but in contrast the elder one was really went away from him.This situation cause a twist in my thought.
The angry elder spent his entire life with the father and had been doing all the assigned job .Besides that he enjoyd the splendour of his broad minded father.But when his father accepted his younger brother who spiled all his pssessions,he could not agree with his father.This event vividly explains about his real nature rather than mere disagreement with father.Eventhough he was with his father he never understood the mind of his father and he never realized who his father was.
Yes I too like this elder son many of a times I did not understand my God.Yes I was with God and I really wanted to work for God but the reality is that I never realise who is God.I passed judgement on others and was got angry with God but never understood the tender feelings of God.
Lord PLEASE GIVE ME A HEART OF THE PRODIGAL SON AND MAKE ME A PRODIGAL SON ,Lord why i say is that the prodigal son realized what is his father .So my God please HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND YOU .AMEN U R JERIL

A TIME OF INABILITY

Unfortunately again I am not in the reach of internet that make me unable to do my bloging.Yes of course its a kind of handicapedness in the sense of unabling express myideas through out the world.Any way I hope that with in two weeks I can up todate my blog .yes its nagging and borring. Any way I can do all things through Jesus christ who strenghten me. ok
love like an inborn
live like an experienced
think like socratese
and serve like a mother

A BIRTHDAY THOUGHT

Today is my birthday.Today I REALISE THAT jESUS REALLY CHANGED MY LIFE FROM PAST.Lord I thank you for everythink.I offer you what I have and i know that what I have is everything from you except all my sins . Lord really I dont have words to describe your deeds which you have done for my life but I thank you, I thank you my jesus'Jesus you are so wonder ,really you are so wonder .YOU are above all technologies.
In chemistry He turned water to wine.In He was born without normal conception.In physics He disprove the law of gravity when He ascended in to heaven.In economics He multiplied and fed 5000.In history He is the beginning and the end.HE IS JESUS CHRIST THE ONLY REAL LIVING GOD.My master I love you. I thank you

I DECIDED TO BE A KING NOT TO BE AN ANT

As am now in not reach of internet it is not possible for me to update my blog every day however this dayi could do it. On these days I have been thinking about ny life and my future life and I found an intresting thought in me and that is nothing other than that the desire to be a king.
I just saw a picture of JESUS as a king. As I first thought about kings i had the picture of very luxurious people those who are living very differently from others with all kinds of fascilities,power ,name and fame with lots of servants to fullfill thier commands.But as I went along with my thoughts and found some thing differnet from the first arrays of thoughts and that led me to a differnt level of thinking.
My thoughts was like this a king is the guardian of the people those whom are under his reign.He is the guide of the people those who are living in his country .He is the judge and he should be impartial towards every one.He should be so wise ,clever and intelligent to lead the country to prosperity .
To protect the life and wealth of his people he leads the battle in front and he is ready to offer his life for them.A king must undergone a very tough training programme for several years to achieve all the required qualities which makes him a an effective king.
The happiness of the king should be the happiness of his people,and his splendifull life resembles the splender and wealth of his country ,ultimately that is his people's splender.
King is a man ,in whom others can rely,King is a man in whom others can take refuge,king is a man in whom others can find a way in the darkness.Really a king is for others and His people always look on him for guidence and He provides what they need.
Yes I feel to be a king is ,to be a servnt of others ,a servant of mankind.As JESUS CHRIST said 'I came to this world not to be serverd but to serve others.'
I learned in the school that the ants are so hard working and keeping food for unseasonel time.Well.this is good but I found that this ants are noty doing anything other than only collecting their food.They are not enjoying a pleasent sunny day and windy rainy day.I feel they are not much wondering about the beauty of the surronding world but simply working hard always and eat and sleep then breeding.I feel their life is a boring life and monotonous.I hate that life.
I feel human life also some time like the life of ants which are working hard only to have a secure future,constructing our dream home,having a better half ,children and providing for their lives and education and more a car and to make a better future life for our children .All these may be our lives besides these we cant find any thing in our lives.We are also wasting the beauty of the life while we live only for the above said aims.We too live just like the ants.So I decided TO BE A KING IN MYB LIFE.
Lord give me a heart of a servant.JESUS my king i love you. love you u r jeril.amen

JESUS IS OUR ROCK AND THE REAL SUPER HERO

JESUS is the rock of my life.He never changes. Jesus still works silently but actively.Jesus is the God of hope.Jesus is the God of victory.Jesus is the God of happiness, joy and peace.Jesus is alive today.
I all ways have a picture of Jesus that is Jesus giving back the life to Lazarus . Here Jesus was so sad in the death of his friend Lazarus.But he waited for some time to act , he wanted to use that painfull moments to give glory to God.So he waited and act.
When Jesus reached there ,he was so late and they burried Lazarus, before his visit. So Jesus when to the tomb of Lazarus and told them to open it.When they opened the tomb ,He called him back to the life again.
Lazarus was died and became rotten,this means that for human being it is impossible to come back from death and from a rotten stage.But it is posiible to God.
In Jeremiah God says that 'I am the lord of the nations and nothing is impossible for me". Yes the same lord is here .Jesus the rock ,the king ,the mighty super hero.yah I love him.
Like Lazarus we might be died in our hope, we may think our life has gone.I cant cahnge my fate.My condition is rotten and I cant come back from this dark tomb of my failurs.wE MAY SMELL THE FOUL SMELL OF OUR DECAYED FUTURE LIFE .But you know your friend is ready there to give you back the life again.
Jesus is able to give you back your lost prosperity,he is able to give you back your lost education,he is still able to give you back your lost family life.Yes he is very mouch enough to give you back your lost financial sound set up.Jesus is able to remove your burden of det from you.
you know Lazarus was rotten.He became simple mud and soil.BUT THERE WAS OUR PHOENIX, JESUS THE NAZRENE.He gave him what he lost AND THAT WAS UNTHINKABLE to the world.You may think ,and others may say, that your life has become rotten and no chance for you to come back to the life,I say u r thouroughly mistaken o,our super hero is there with his mighty power,He will give you back what you lost.
He will remove the foul smell of your rotten future and give u back the fragrance of your nice and bright futUre.This is the the most clear and vivid reality.I am telling this from my life. Once I was LOST EVERYTHING NOW I HAVE GOT BACK WHAT I LOST.Jesu is intervening all ways at last and at the right time.
SO JUST SIMPLY GO TO HIM AND EXPERINCE HIS LIFE GIVING MIGHTY POWER.
Lord help me to be all ways under your guidence and protection.Here I am lord,speak to me.ur jeril amen,

FRIENDSHIP

Last day I was chatting with one of my friends ,her name is Maggie.m.We shared many things about life and our faith.We all know that many are using chatting room to play with people.But I didnt feel that she was playing with me. Any way she didnt share her full name with me.That made me a little confused that, was she playing with me? I felt bad in my heart for a while.But again she shared many things and I understood that she was genuine in her talk.

But this confusion made me to think again and I found that I had no wright on demanding loyalty from her because I just dont know her personnally and I didnt do any good thing for her life,then how can I expect genuinity and loyalty from her.What I did is that I just demanded loyalty but I was not worthy and I got annoyed and disturbed without having any reason.

Here I am with out any proper reason got annoyed of a simple misunderstanding with an un known person,then how much people discouraged with the miscommunication of the people we really know and love.

Exspecially with the most loved one is so pain full and heart breaking.Ok,now I think how much I gave to blow to my God.I was not loyal to him completely.I never gave him a really thank full heart and actually he is the only one reason ,now I am here.And you ,after all my blow he is so kind hearted to me,he never questioned me ,never stopped his blessing upon me and never critisized me.But I am being nothing to that friend simply got misunderstanding with her.I know how much blind I am,?How much I am demanding from others?Lord I dont know when I am going to change?please help me Jesus,Make me a good humanbeing.Please be with me oh Christ.u r jeril amen

Thank you MAGGIE 4 ur sharing. I know you didnt play with me. God really used you to make me to think. THANK YOU MY FRIEND OF PHILIPINES.In mamma mary .u r frnd .JERIL

I AM BACK TO BLOG AND TO LIFE

At last I reached back to home.The continuous 35 hours journey made me burn out.It was tiring but I enjoyed the journey.I love travelling.As I was travelling in the bus I saw a mother and she was holding her small child in hand.There was no seat in the bus for her to sit.So she gave her child to the old man one who was sitting in bus.Suddenly the child start to cry and made a big noise in the bus as the child was reluctant to move a little away from her mother.But as time passed the child became so cool and started to play with man and became so playful.Again after some time childs attention went on to her mother and started to cry.The old man tried his best to make the child happy but every attempt went to vain.Child cried and made all the noise and when she saw the face of her mother she stoped crying and jumped to her.Then she became so happy and at peace.
This gave me a look on my life.Yes I too have the same character.Whenever I do sin my mind is not ready to that and was telling me to do not do.When I say a lie my mind is objecting my plan and I continue with my plan.When I ignore this primary objection of my mind then I have no problem to say lie again.But you know after ignoring all the objections of my conscious ,for some days I can go forward and live peacefully.But then allways in my mind a cyclone takes birth that destroys all my peace and urging me to make treaty with God.The cyclone of repentance, which all ways lead me to confession.In the confession cabin I allways find my God again and again and that moment I cant express with the words.
I felt the above said child and myself are same because when first the child moved from the sight of her mother she was not so happy,and reluctant to it.But she changed her mind soon and attracted towards the new condition and she couldnt enjoy the new condition for long time.Again her mind started to search for her mother.She knew that she is from her mother and she is for her mother and all others are not for her. This reality written in her mind when she born in to this world.So she is ultimately happy and peacefull only at the presence of her mother.
I too like this child that sometimes I may went away from the presence of God,but soon my mind reminds me that only God is for me and I am for him.I can be happy only with him.So suddenly my mind looks for God.I am so happy when I found him again because the living God is very near to a repenting heart.
God my love,I thank you for helping me to find you again and again.And I ask you pardon for all my sins.Please have mercy on me my God and my love. THANK YOU LORD JESUS CHRIST. your jeril amen

JENY MY GUARDIAN ANGEL

I named my guardian angel JENY. JENY is the short form of my name jeril antony.I took first and last two letters from my name and gave him the name.I just thought that my name represnts my entire individuality and giving guard to my name means giving protection to my entire personality.So JENY my guardian angel guards me all ways.He protects me from birth to death .His name represnts my entire personality and he is for me.
From my childhood onwards i had a desire to see my guardian angel.I wished to play with him and want to be helped by him during my studies.I used to pray to JENY for his apparition.As time went I just droped the desire for his vision.
I never stopped to pray to him.Reasonly I left out for a
distant journey and I prayed agin to JENY and remembered Tobias and Angel Raphael.I really wished my JENY's presence at that time.I dreamed abt his face ,a handsome angel with golden hair, wearing very bright white dress with a nice fragarnt.
Any way I started my journey and i was thinking about how can I spot the place which is not known for me and I knew the language also different.Then again I thought about my JENNY and wanted to had his physical presnce .I dreamed that he was sitting near to me.I wanted to breath his nice fragrance but I smelt a different smell .I got the smell of pure local liquor.
When i opened my eyes I saw a man wearing dirty clothes and his eyes were red ,hair was not groomed and he was blabbering many things.The smell of the liquor was very much enoug to kill my peace on my journey.
I was struggling and then some thoughts came to me,and i asked JENNY wh y u didnt come to me and let this man to sit near to me.Any way I asked some qustion like this t o him and I didnt get any answer.
I was confused about the place where I was going.So I asked many men about the place and the correct spot ,when the bus stoped for a while,but no one can give me the proper answer.Again I thought about my guardian angel.Suddenly the man one who was sitting near to me came and said to me that he knew the place.
Again I said to JENNY dont play with me because this drunkard may lead me to a trap.Any way our bus started to move and he wsa asking so many qustions.He told me again that he know the place and he would help to reach there.I didnt say any thing.
At last we reached the last stop.I thought a while about my destiny.Suddenly that man Came and took my hand and hired a taxi for me and said to the driver the exact place.Then again he told me that he too coming with me.and I asked him where you wanted to go and he said that he didnt want to go any where.
We started again in taxi and at last we reached there.When the taxi driver asked fare he started to shout at him and said dont try to cheat others .SO the driver didnt take money as he demand first.He charged only the right fare.
That man showed me the office where I suppose to go and he went back in the same taxi.I thanked him ,then told me only a word that "this is my duty".As soon as he finished the word the car started to move.
I really freezed because i saw my guardian angel there.What I thought about him was wrong .He changed my views about the people.
Now my jeny is a drunkard .He is having a smell of liquor.
Heis wearing a dirty torn shirt.His hair is not combed well. His face is dark and not shaven.
Jenny i am sorry now I undrstand that many times u heared my prayer and came to see me but I didnt recognize you.Sorry,sorry,
But now jeny Ican see you every where in my life.As i leve now to chidambaram I know you will be with me .
thank you Jeny .
lord help me to see your face in everuy one so that I can see you whenever i see other people.thank you lord.
JENY i am leaving to chidambaram please come with me and guard me in my ways. yur jeril. amen

THE BURNING HEART

Today I went through Luk24-32 and I found the words like this that "Wasn't it like a fire burning in us when he talked to us on the road and explained the scripture to us?" I thought about on these words and i too felt that some light is shining in my thoughts also.
Yes there Jesus spoke to them and they had the burning sensation in their heart.That means when they heard the word of god ,their hearts got fired and burn. Yes I know the word of god is so powerful, so when I hear the word of god I suppose to have the same feeling,the burning sensation in my heart too.
Then I thought that what are the functions of the fire?
About the functions of fire what I undestood is that fire cleans the area .We use to fire the wastes and clean the area and make it ready for good and useful purpose.Then fire use to melt the hard metals ,and makes them useful instruments for our daily life.This same fire is used to cook the food which gives energy in our lives.Then the same fire gives light in the darkness and help us to walk in the right path which leads us in to a safe place.Again the same fire make us warm in the cold which destroys our enthusiasm to go forward in our life and to our destiny.
If i have fire in me when i hear the word of god all these functions of fire will have to take place in me.The fire of god should cleans my heart.ALL the impure feelings,thoughts,which makes a person unclean vanish from him.He will have a new heart.There we can see a transformed heart.


As fire melt the hard metals ,the fire of the word of god melts the rock like hearts, and make them his instruments for his kingdom.When we use the fire to cook food , we are actually acquiring the energy for our


life.When the word of god burns in us we too get the sufficint enrgy and strength to live the life which Jesus led in this world.
Fire gives light in the darkness .When the divine fire comes, the dark corner of our inner heart also shines and that leads us to the narrow path of the kingdom of god and helps us to walk smoothly and finally leads us to God.As the fire gives warm in the cold and gives a new enthusiam to act again and work the fire of God gives a new enthusiasm .An enthusiasm to pray more,to do good things,desire to live for God and die for him.A real enthusiasm to lead a christ oriented life,to taste the sweetness of his words and finally to offer ones life to spread his word and the kingdom of god.
Oh JESUS the living word.u have given me these thoughts,but lord I beg u to give me the fire in my heart.Help me to get burned by u r fire.LOrd help me , help me, help me,,,,,,my lord.I would like to have u r fire in me.Lord i want to get changed.Transform me.
Again if we misuse the fire that will burn and destroy everything.If we misuse god and his name I think his fire may burn us.
LORD HELP ME WALK ALL WAYS WITH YOU.Teach me to forget my self and remember only you. Thank you my dear jesus christ.I love u. amen. u r jeril

THE DAILY CRUCIFICATION

I thought about the crucification of jesus and it's cruelty.Some thoughts were like this that ,he didn't get justice from any where.Judge declared him innocent but gave punishment.He is the only one innocent punished by a judiciary when he cleared as innocent.Then again he knew what is rejection.He was rejected by evry one except his mother.Then he was beaten,crushed, mocked, nailed,crowned by thorn,pierced,and was abandoned .The one who gives life got what he least deserves.
As I was thinking I felt that the crucification of jesus is now repeating in the kitchens of most of our houses.Some of our mothers spending their life inside the house,helping others and only living for their husband and their children.Yes I can say that they do everything with love.They think those jobs are their duty.But actually most of our mothers lead their life completely for the better ment of their families.
But no one cares their inner cries.They are sacrificing their likes and interests for others sake.Like jesus denies his divinity on the earth.They are ready to wipe the tears of others in the family but when they are in tears no one may not be near to them bcz all may be busy with theirs work.They too experience the same rejction which jesus experienced.
They may laugh with evrey one .Mothers read the sorrow of the mind of others.But mostly they are pierced by others when they get a bad comment about the food which they prepared.Like jesus pierced by soldiers.They too crowned by thorn when husbands scolds them from misunderstsnding.They too nailed to the cross when their children give them harsh reply for their qustions.
When husband harasses her she feels she is abandoned by husband,and jesus also felt that he is abandoned by every one ,even his father too.
When her children donot obey them they fell that they are mocked by every one.jesus also mocked by evry one. Yes most of our mothers are carrying jesus cross.
Now we are crucifying our life giving mothers just like we crucified jesus.So I can say that in most of the houses they are celebrating holy mass.Mothers are offering their life in the alter of the house to have life for their dear and near ones.
What can i say more. Oh Mary my mother teach me to love my mother.Teach me to respect my mother.Help me to wipe their faces when they carry their corss to calvary of family life .amen u r jeril

my call to be a broom

Today i thought about my life.I asked what is my life?For what I got this life? I didnt get answer.Then I went for cleaning my room and took the broom in my hand.Yes I got the answer that I called to be a broom.
A broom is using to clean the place.We use broom to remove dirty things which we dont touch with our hands.We use broom to clean the toilet,work area ,drainage and many more.this is the function.
The nature of the broom is that no one keep a broom in an important place.We keep broom in a place where others eyes never reach.After cleaning we throw the broom to the dark corner of the house.
To day My lord has told me that he has called me to become his broom.He told me to clean my self first,then try to clean others by touching there hearts.Cleaning the pus of their inner wounds with my hands ,removing the rotten growth of their mental agony with my own presence to them,and helping others in all possible ways.
Again he reminds me the place where i have to be placed.As a broom i should be kept in the dark corner of every ones mind.I should be considerd as an inauspicious thing by every one.
Again he told me that a broom cannot clean the place itself.Some should hold the broom in his hand to clean.The one who holds the broom has the complete control over the cleaning purpose.This tells obviously that a broom has no role in its job.So a broom cannot take proud in its duty.
I too be like this broom.If God hold me in his hand and use me as a broom ,then i can say that I am a broom of GOd.And I cant be proud of my life.Yes everything is u r gift oh lord.
Lord I know that i am at u r mercy.God my father take away my self love from me.AND give me a mind of the broom.My master jesus, teach me humility .Make me humble and simple .Mother mary be with me.Holy spirit make me u r broom. u r jeril amen.

thoughts while my journey

last few days i have been travelling to my proposed college.from my home to there thats a big journey.around 12 hrs I was on the road.any way i like travel a lot.I am so crazy about travel.More than this, travelling gave me ample time to be with god.
when ever i travel i pray rosary and apeak to god .this time iwas contemplating about the birth of jesus in the manger.the very special thought which came to my mind is that how much mother mary accept her real life situation.She knew that she is the mother of god.But she never demand any thing.She never critisize her husband in his inability to find a place for to deliver the son of god.
Here she accepts what god kepts for her.But in my case i dont have such quality.I am a person who demands from god.Here she relys on the providence of god.
I do pray to god and have good relationship with god.But i know i dont change.I am also looking for goodone in everything.Even in the case of my admission in the college i looked for the standard and great college.But God shown me one that was not in my thoughts.I asked him why this .that was his plan .then i came to know his plan was great.
i do pray to god i say i have good relationship with god then i qustioned him .what a faith i have in god. How much i rely on god.this shows how much poor i am in my obedience to god.and i simply ask god qustion ,why?i pray to god,i go to church,means i am good. what a proud i am.all my prayer leads me to proudness. i prayed for my sake thats what happend in my life.i didnot think that god is worthy for all adoration and for his sake i have to be with him and glorify him.But i pray to glorify my self,to get seat in the paradise not for the glory of god.sorry my lord. i know i am nothing ,because of yourgrace now i am hereLord change my heart oh lord,change me now
Even in the case of future life my interest was in foreign visa. not in indian job.LOrd i ask u change me .and teach me to content with what i have.
I may mary a girl who is working in abroad but dont mary one who does the same job in india.yes that much only i love the god ,i love the other one. because i am relying on visa and money .i am not rely on my god completely.

Any way u have given me the in sigt that is changing my life.mother mary teach me to live as you lived and as rely on god.teach me to accept others failures and inabilities with an understanding heart.
be with me all ways my god .thank yopu lord.
your jeril.amen

sweet marriage

Today someone asked me about my marriage.I know that is not possible right now. I know i have to wait at least 2 yrs. At this age am going to join in acollege again.Thats me.Any way I could think on marriage.
For me marriage is a new step.Like two different sterams originated from differnt mountains and flow through differnt lands at last join together and reaching in the ocean.WOW I love that sean.
One day I too join with my special one and we flow together.and reach together the goals that we dream together. I think this may be the plan of god.
I wanna to get a good girl in all the sense.But if Iwant to have a good girl first is hould be good.I want to have a virgin as my wife so i should be virgin first.If i go for sex whereevr i can and wish to have a virgin as wife ,it is utter cheating.
I would like to have a girl who doesnt have a boy friend and any affair.If i keep a girl friend and demand for that m a fool.Because every action has a reaction.
Lord JESUS says what u believe will be done for you. I believe that if am keeping my chastity .god wil give me a virgin.If u done any thing against any one u will get it back in some way.
If i make any comment on any girl ,one day my sister,my mother,my wife or daughter wiil get it back from others.So my policy is too loyal to our god and to my future wife wherever she may be.I know i can cheat her but i cannot sleep. and i cannot hide from the eyes of my God.
I know people may laugh at me abt my thoughts but i dont care because i know god is alive and he is with me.I dont know who will come in to my life but i know that m only for you and pls wait for the gods time.
lord my god pls give me the strength to walk in your way.Jesus my master help me to be loyal to you and my future one.Mother mary keep me under your guidence.HOLY spirit be with me and help me to lead a holy life.
JERIL ANTONY

smile a while

i love to smile.i love to watch smile.when an infant smiles i m getting so tenderd.
When a police officer smiles at me i feel relieved.when darling smiles sweet heart feels the victory of alexander the great.When God smile at a sinner he acquires eternal life.
lord i think smille is the language of angels. lord teach me that language.i do not want to go to the moon.i do not want to cross the far oceans.i donot want climb over the peak of the mountains.But lord i would like to speak to the hearts through smile.
God teach me to smile. Teach me to touch the hearts.Oh Lord change my heart so that i may able to smile at others and spread your love and warm blessings to them. lord here i am and help mme

who am i ?

I am nothing . I got life with out my knowledge.i dont choose my parents and nationality.
Totally i am blank, I dont know more about my self than i know.Even I dont know what I may do at 9.30 pm ,june 13 of 2009.I dont know that what I speak by this time tomorrow.
ya I got life from some one.I got everything from him.HE is" I AM WHO IAM".
He is the Lord of all natiOns and king of kings.He is the god of jeril antony.
Who am I? I am God's own pet. He is my rock and my life. I am from him and for him.He is my every thing.I love him and I"ll die for him.